ABSTRACT consequences of divorce for children who later

ABSTRACT

In this paper, I stretch and organize the importance of positive parenting and the consequences of divorce for children who later can become a majority in the coming next generation and how it impacts the society as a whole. Throughout the history, family has been a key essential nucleus of every civilization. The rate of divorce in first marriage has increased from five percent which is during our grandparent’s generation to about fifty percent which is in our current generation. I also wrote how do such increasing number of individuals from divorced families differ from those from married stable families in well-being? Thus, the questions stand about how these differences reflect the current crisis that most people gradually adapt into stable life strains and how do these children kid born and raised under different kind of parenting environment reflect the way of life styles they choose and the way how they interact and work in this ever-demanding society? In contrast, how can a positive parenting which normally can only occur from stable family can bring a smooth platform for children to become more likely to be successful and finally, what are the protective factors that can counter for such increasing rate of divorce in our generation and number of children born under unstable/divorce families. In general, I point out the research that show how marital dissolution has the potential to create tremendous turmoil in a person lives. Although children differ from another and many other factors play a role in later success of their adult life greatly, the importance of positive parenting can be used as a shield to counter several adversities (such as poverty or basic social psychological failure) or as a mediating tool to keep the number of child abuse which normally came from unstable, violent and abusive family environment.  In sum, I will present a statement of how important is high quality positive parenting which come from stable family to the society as a whole.

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                      Since the civilization had started, we human lived together and hunt together. In order to survive, we made a bond between each other to maintain that status which later become families, relatives, cousins and community. Even when we look from biblical perspective, God created man and woman to love each other and help one another (Genesis 2:8). It clearly shown that the seed of happiness and survivability lies within families since those times both on biblical and atheistic scientific point of view. In addition, it is also one of the main driving engine of our society. Throughout the course of history especially in Western civilization, families (marriage, reproduction, parenting and leadership) has been a key nucleus that start every civil society and a principal that intertwined with human values which link to the maintenance of the basic social character and moral values as important purposes said once by a former Harvard sociologist Carle E. Zimmerman (Zimmerman, 1947). This can also mean that the strong and stable families in turn produce and maintain a number of civilians who have civic responsibilities and obedience that engine the economy of the society moving forward. While at the same time, when we carefully analyze at the fall of the Roman and Greek civilizations, “family disintegration was a key factor in both cause and effect” (Zimmerman, 1947). Thus, those progress and falls of a society can relate back to how well the civilians are nature and taken care of while they grew up as a child which can be explain how parenting is important in that society and how can a broken and abusive family can have micro consequences that could later aggravated to huge societal problems and needs. 

                     Since during the end of 20th century, the most dramatic change in family life was the increase in the rate of divorce. In the midst of the 19thcentury, the rate of divorce is only about 5% for ?rst marriages. In contrast, the current marriage data have estimate that about half of ?rst marriages end up in divorce (US Census Bureau, 2010). These “increase in marital dissolution has had major impact for the atmospheres in which new generation of children are nurtured and socialized” (Schwartzhoff, 2013). Slightly, over 50% of all divorces involve children under the age of 18 and for this reason, every year more than one million children experience parental divorce which come along with the staggering prediction that “about 40% of all children will experience parental divorce before reaching their adulthood (U.S Bureau of the Census, 1998, Table 160). Observers have attributed this change to a number of factors, such as “the increasing economic independence of women, declining earnings among men without college degrees, rising expectations for personal ful?llment from marriage, greater social acceptance of divorce” (Amato, 2000) and most notably is the increasing number of adults who also grew in abusive and/or divorce families given the fact that almost half of those children born under divorce families. The society we live in is becoming more acceptable to what is used to be unacceptable and in most cases, it brings comfort for some people but also sometimes it can bring a subtle pull-down effect to rest of everyone one to fall down from the surface of the water and drawn.

                     Today, we can see almost all around us that the rapid growth of juvenile delinquency affords tragic evidence that bringing up children has well-nigh become a lost art. As a result, in some states more than 60 percent of persons arrested for crimes of violence are juvenile (Justice department archives, 2017). Yet it is not necessary that boys and girls should be so troublesome. They don’t have to be rude, insolent, disobedient, sadistic little vandals. Right upbringing will make them the nicest youngsters in the world. With the proper care and training from their first and closest friends of all time who are nobody but their parents. Train is the essential world. It embraces thoughtful planning, unwearyingly determination, and infinite patience. It is not a job so weakling and the most vital task ever committed to men and women which demand the utmost and best of them. The trouble is that many parents have never learned how to train their children since the rate and number of divorce and the generations that came from broken and abusive families. Since most of those individuals with divorced parents are also at higher risk chances of experiencing psychological problems, it could create numerous stumbling stone from succeeding later in their adult life. A few studies found that the possibility of low educational attainment or poor interpersonal skills in either social or working environment may intertwined with the association between parental divorce and adult psychological wellbeing (Amato, 2000). Also, exposure to chronic interparental disagreement and violence at home seems to consequences in long run similar to those of divorce. Thus, those “adults who recall a high level of conflict between parents while growing up also tend to report a disproportionately large number of psychological, abusive and marital problems in their own lives” (Amato, 2000). For example, according to longitudinal data from the National Survey, Children were examined to investigate whether effects of parental divorce are evident in young adulthood. The result shows, over half of the children between the age of 18 and 22 from divorce families had poor relationship with their father and a quarter of them with their mother. Moreover, a quarter of them didn’t finish high school and 40% are in psychological habituation program. Given the other controlling demographic factors and socioeconomic differences, it shows that children from disrupted families were two time more likely to have problems than children from non-disrupted families (Ojua). With that being said, such increasing number of children who will later enter into adulthood and labor force could also change the perception of culture, norms of a society and the economic work force environment and productivity that we all rely and live upon. Thus, the importance of high quality parenting which we all know can be most likely, if not, fully attain by two parents in a stable and non-abusive relationship is getting critical more than ever in order to decrease this unprecedented growing number of children who will later become adult and shape our society.

                      Thirdly, divorce can save people from abusive families, but historical data such as the fall of Greek and Roman civilization and current researches indicates that it can also destabilize a society. Given those research and statistical data, divorced adults are “more likely impoverished while their children experience psychological and economic stress hindering their social development” (Vrouvas,2017). On the other hand, positive parenting factors such as warmth, control and involving with them, and consistency of discipline not only has positive impacts on adolescents but also on the way those kids parent their own children when they grew up (Fuller, 2016). As the saying goes, prevention is better than cure, it is importance to promote positive parenting in order to counter those consequences and adversity such as poverty, delinquent influences and/or academic failure and to use it as a mediator of damage as in a case for child abuse. The loss of moral identity and values which lead so many crimes, adultery  and broken homes and the best holistic approach is to “turn greater attention and effort to the teaching of the next generation who are no body but our children…in order to do this, first we need to reinforce the primary teachers of children who are the parents and other family members, and the best environment should be at the home” said once by a one of the apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Faust, 1990). Those basic products of positive parenting such as harmony, peace, kindness and love in the home can help give children the required inner strength to cope with life’s challenges of this ever demanding and changing environment (Sanders). Also, sometimes, it means “to be a good father and mother requires that the parents postpone many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children” said again by Elder Faust during the general conference (Faust,1990). As a consequence of this sacrifices of putting a spouse and children at first place instead of putting career and pride can bring a positive parenting in this century which in turn allow those dedicated parents develop a nobility of character, integrity and selfless truths in children who are going to shape our society in future.

                      In conclusion, it is also important to note that children, parents and families who are not fortunate enough to achieve the goal of living in happy, stable, two parent families need not and should not be castigated; indeed, most divorced and never married families function pretty well. Still, the evidence of research and data reviews that, given the option, chances of children certainly perform better in a happily married family is higher than in an abusive and/or divorced family (Fuller 2016). Thus, promoting happy marriage surely is an important goal for our next generation and if the goal is to increase happy marriages, it also meant that it should be started by promoting happy families and encouraging the importance of “positive parenting” to make our current and future society to become a little bit better place to live in.